Last I visited eHarmony, there weren’t any search options

Last I visited eHarmony, there weren’t any search options

One of the few dating sites that have a higher percentage of women than men, eHarmony also has a higher percentage of folks under 54 than most, too.


You sign up, you fill out the form, and then you wait. Sometimes, a day. On a few occasions, I’ve had to wait over a week. Eventually, you get matched with someone based on eHarmony’s algorithm. You can tweak based on distance, and that’s about it.

What will you see when you get matched? Again, it depends. Usually, no picture and some of their answers to free-form questions. It’s pretty bare bones, and specifically so.

eHarmony is a true compatibility dating site, meaning THEY do the matching. They use the best information they have about long-term, marriage-minded partnerships, and then facilitate your “meeting” someone that’s aligned similarly.

Connecting with Other Members

You can only connect with other people on the site once you’ve been matched. In addition, there’s no way to see if the person has subscribed to the site, whether they joined years ago, or whether they’re on a free trial.

What does this mean for you? Well, you’re only matched with a small percentage of the population (makes sense), and, there’s no way of knowing if they’re actively looking still. So…. you’re going to get fewer replies than any of the other dating sites combined.

Still, it only takes one. That’s what I hear constantly from users, readers, and clients with their eHarmony review(s) to meet someone. I agree with them; marriage-minded singles will have better luck here than anywhere. You’ve just got to be patient.

As well, frequent “free communication weekends” offer an opportunity to get people back on the site and connecting gaydar. The issue?

You can only use their preformatted Q&A format – there’s no way to actually have a conversation unless you subscribe, and even then, it takes a bit.

eHarmony Cost

The cost will differ based on several factors – your location, demographic and time of year. For the most part, a month-to-month membership costs $ USD, with lower cost options if you subscribe for longer periods of time.

How To Get eHarmony For Free

I get this question asked sooo much… it’s astounding. I get it; the site costs more than any other. Still, it’ll take a bit of work to get eHarmony completely, 100% free. There are really only three ways that I know how:

  • Belong to a highly desirable demographic in an area where there aren’t a lot of members to match with;
  • Write an eHarmony review like this one, and they (may) reach out to offer you a free month. Having said that, I’ve written about dating sites for well over a decade, and eHarmony is the only one that has yet to offer me a freebie;
  • Play their discount system, but this will only get you so far.

When you sign up for eHarmony, you’ll get offered a set fee to subscribe. Decline, and wait. Don’t go back to the site, just forget about it.

In a few weeks, you’ll get presented with a discount offer. Again, wait. UNLESS it’s 92%, then, take it. That’s the best you’ll likely find (and the best I’ve come across).

The game here is that (a) you need to wait, and (b) it won’t happen around big dating-related events like their free communication weekends or Valentine’s Day.

Then, [thrive_2step to my email list[/thrive_2step]. In my reply, you should get a link for eHarmony. See if you can “stack” the coupon and the discount – you might get eHarmony for free. Do let me know in the comments what, worked for you.